$14 and I'm yours! Although that would leave me naked and you with a pile of dirty clothes.
I am currently worth about $101 if you added up the cost of what I'm wearing. Although, what I'm wearing is now used so I might be worth closer to $14. It breaks down like this.
T-shirt, $free.
Current estimated value, $6. Yes, it's increased in value because it has the sweat of awesome (me) saturating its fibers.
Hoodie, $12. I get them wholesale because I'm a fancy pants store owner.
Current estimated value, $3. I've seen similar hoodies fetch three bucks at the local swap meet. Plus, it's American Apparel and all the swap meet goers understand that they have to pay extra for sweatshop free clothing.
Jeans, $25. Costco. The label says "Lucky Brand", but something tells me Lucky uses some bunk denim to sell these for so cheap.
Current estimated value, $5. C'mon they're Lucky Jeans. Somebody on Craigslist might drop a five spot for these *bad boys.
Shoes, $54. Despite getting older every year I can't seem to buy anything other than the skate shoes I loved so dearly in my youth.
Current estimated value, $0. These things are so worn down I doubt I could give them away to a barefoot man that just lost a *bet to walk a mile on burning coals.
Socks, estimated at $2. They come in a pack of six so this one pair might have cost me about two bones.
Current estimated value, $0. Used socks? C'mon, people. Nobody buys used socks when a brand new pair could be shoplifted so easily. Duh!
Panties, $8 maybe. OK, they are "boxer shorts", but it's just so funny to me to refer to male undergarments as "panties". Also, I didn't buy this particular pair. In fact, I never buy boxers. Didn't you know that if you are a guy and have a woman in your life, be it a mother, a sister, a girlfriend, etc. you NEVER have to buy underwear. *The women in you life always take care of that for you. Always.
Current estimated value, $0. It's underwear! Never buy used underwear, especially out of a vending machine in Tokyo.
* I hate when people refer to things as "bad boys", but damn it all, I just couldn't help myself. The term is just so fitting at times.
*I'm sure the bet would include that the man had to walk barefoot, but whatever.
* Once a female friend who was good friends with my girlfriend bought me a pair of blue boxers with orange polka dots. We all joked at how it seemed totally normal, but that if I showed up with a new pair of panties for my girlfriend's friend it would have been a whole other story.
T-shirt, $free.
Current estimated value, $6. Yes, it's increased in value because it has the sweat of awesome (me) saturating its fibers.
Hoodie, $12. I get them wholesale because I'm a fancy pants store owner.
Current estimated value, $3. I've seen similar hoodies fetch three bucks at the local swap meet. Plus, it's American Apparel and all the swap meet goers understand that they have to pay extra for sweatshop free clothing.
Jeans, $25. Costco. The label says "Lucky Brand", but something tells me Lucky uses some bunk denim to sell these for so cheap.
Current estimated value, $5. C'mon they're Lucky Jeans. Somebody on Craigslist might drop a five spot for these *bad boys.
Shoes, $54. Despite getting older every year I can't seem to buy anything other than the skate shoes I loved so dearly in my youth.
Current estimated value, $0. These things are so worn down I doubt I could give them away to a barefoot man that just lost a *bet to walk a mile on burning coals.
Socks, estimated at $2. They come in a pack of six so this one pair might have cost me about two bones.
Current estimated value, $0. Used socks? C'mon, people. Nobody buys used socks when a brand new pair could be shoplifted so easily. Duh!
Panties, $8 maybe. OK, they are "boxer shorts", but it's just so funny to me to refer to male undergarments as "panties". Also, I didn't buy this particular pair. In fact, I never buy boxers. Didn't you know that if you are a guy and have a woman in your life, be it a mother, a sister, a girlfriend, etc. you NEVER have to buy underwear. *The women in you life always take care of that for you. Always.
Current estimated value, $0. It's underwear! Never buy used underwear, especially out of a vending machine in Tokyo.
* I hate when people refer to things as "bad boys", but damn it all, I just couldn't help myself. The term is just so fitting at times.
*I'm sure the bet would include that the man had to walk barefoot, but whatever.
* Once a female friend who was good friends with my girlfriend bought me a pair of blue boxers with orange polka dots. We all joked at how it seemed totally normal, but that if I showed up with a new pair of panties for my girlfriend's friend it would have been a whole other story.
posted by JEFF at
11:48 PM
1 Comments:
Okay, the sweat in the shirt comment, pretty disgusting! Does this mean you're gonna get some new shoes? I'm gonna have to say those have been on you since we met.
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